If you have an adopted child, chances are you are plagued with anxiety at the mere concept of telling him. And why not? Adoption is a touchy subject and you do not know how your child will react. But learning how to properly deliver the news will also help the outcome of the situation. Here are some tips to help you.
Start When He Is Young
It is always better to tell your child about the adoption when he is young. It will help him cope easier than with finding out later on in his life. Also, the chance of discovering the adoption through a relative or friend is high if you keep putting it off. And if he finds out through such means, this can affect the trust he has with you and your spouse.
Be Honest, But Set Limits
As you are dealing with a child, there are things you can and cannot say about the adoption. A good example is being unwanted by his biological parents. You cannot divulge that information because you are going to hurt his feelings one way or the other. Instead, tell him the story of how you got him, as well as the excitement the family felt at the time.
There is a high probability that your child will ask things about his origin. Do not shy away from those. If you can, help him understand about his biological parent’s situation, though as stated previously, set boundaries when doing so. Asking you about these things does not mean that your child loves you less; it is just curiosity running through his mind and is completely normal.
Make Him Feel Loved
For the part of your child, he may be worried that he will feel less special than his siblings because he is adopted. The key here is to tell him that you love him. Also, show that through action to ease his mind.
As telling your kid that he is adopted cannot be avoided, you should do so with grace and proper delivery, like the ones listed above. Do not even attempt to keep it hidden all his life. Remember that skeletons in the closet eventually come out.